Like My Clothes?

Colossians 3:12 (NIV)
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.


I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I reflect Christ in my office (let alone to my family and friends when I'm relaxed). Pastor Ron has been teaching on compassion the last couple of weeks and this scripture has caught my attention because it tells me exactly how I should be dealing with others...the attitude to have when others are crossing me, coming to me for help or advice, when I'm frustrated with myself and still having to talk to someone. All those situations present me with an opportunity to either show myself as Christ walked or show myself as I was b.c.

I'm reminded of the story of the Emperor's New Clothes. In that story, the Emperor was convinced that he had a new set of clothes on when he went in public when, in fact, he was totally naked before everyone. He was so confident that he was wearing clothing that no one dared tell him otherwise. BUT they could all tell he was naked.

When I'm stepping out into the world, I feel confident that I'm clothed in Christ's likeness. In compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. I tell everyone that I'm a Christian (in case they can't see what I'm wearing). But am I really clothed in these characteristics or am I naked? Do I really treat others the way Christ would have treated them or am I just wearing imaginary clothing?

Don't get me wrong, I know there are times when my flesh rules the situation and I'm left naked in the street...exposed to be the same as any other human being. But my goal should be (and is) that my spirit man ascend in every contact I have with others. That they see me clothed differently than they are. That I don't have to tell them I'm a Christian because they can see it by how I am dressed spiritually.

Clothing myself in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Placing others before myself. Being enveloped in the likeness of my Lord and Savior. Now that's a fine suit!!

Celebrate God!

Psalm 32:11 "Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!" The Message translation says to "Celebrate God! Sing together - everyone! All you honest hearts, raise the roof!"

Just reflecting this morning on the goodness of God. The Father loving me enough to sacrifice His only Son. Jesus, making me righteous and worthy to enter into the presence of the Father. The Holy Spirit never giving up on me and completing that work that was begun in me when I received Christ.

If there was ever a reason to celebrate it is all this and more.

The love of the Father is now my characteristic and make-up. I can love and forgive and feel compassion and just plain live with my head held up because He first loved me. All that is in the Father, my creator, is now free to work in me. A concept that is not always easy to remember. It's only in DAILY and MINUTE BY MINUTE fellowship that the realization of just WHOSE I am comes to light in my mind. God is love and He made a way to show that love by coming for ME!

Being righteous and worthy by Christ's blood and sacrifice to enter into the presence of the Father blows me away every time I think about it. It never ceases to work that way in my heart and mind. Coming to the realization of not being lost or alone, not wandering around without a purpose, being able to talk to someone about what is really going on in my heart, having something to put MY FAITH in...it is incredible.

And not staying there. That work that was started when I accepted what Christ did for me is still growing in my life. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I see each and every day the work of the Cross. What it did for me, what it is doing in me, and how to share that with others. The work I am most responsible for now is to spread the news of what the Cross did for others. That gets easier and easier as I come to the realization of what it did for me. It creates and excitement that can't be quenched or silenced. That's the fire in the bones that that Jeremiah was talking about. Something that so consumes you that the old recognizable person is no long recognizable. When others are changed by being in my presence, then I know I'm Celebrating God!!

Catching up...

ok, so I haven't been on the blog in quite a while (over a year in fact). It hasn't totally been because I've stopped my devotions and growing. It has been a struggle, I'm not going to lie. There have been seasons that I've grown stale. Always keeping my heart soft and working towards obedience, just allowing life to get in the way.

However, the strongest reason I've not been journaling is because I got blocked out of doing it at work and my home computer was down. When it did get repaired, I had cancelled my internet (no reason to keep it if I couldn't use it) and then had to get it all back up and running. That was a couple of months ago and to be honest, I just got out of the habit.

But the Lord has been dealing with me on getting back into my old habits (for lack of a better word) so that I can once again fan the flicker into the flame it was.

It was a hard time when I stopped journaling. We had just lost Elijah and I was dealing with a lot. Not struggling with my faith or with my relationship with the Father. As a matter of fact, that became increadibly strong. But you don't go through something like that without a tearing of the heart.

The Father was faithful to Aaron and Katie though. They were blessed just four months later with a new seed growing inside. Little Asher Michael Russell came into our lives October 30th, 2009. Not to take the place of Elijah, but a true restoring of what was lost by the Father. Our love for him consumes all of us. He is such a joyful little guy.

So now I'm committing to getting back into the swing of journaling my revelations and growths by the Holy Spirit. I'm excited to have the opportunity to once again put all the revelations on paper. It truely helps me make them concrete.

The Lord has been faithful even when I haven't. Time to run to the mercy seat and be healed again!!!

THE TRUE WORSHIPPERS

Acts 16:25, 26 (NIV)
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose.

Why me Lord? Where are you now? What's going to happen to me? This isn't fair!

Notice none of these phrases are in the Word? Never does is say that Paul or Silas sat there, drowning in their own pity, despising God, wondering if following Him is worth all this, waiting for the pain to stop. Nope, you won't find those thoughts or words anywhere. What you do find is that after they were stripped, beaten, and then dragged down to the cell and chained, Paul and Silas continued doing what they started before they were accused. Verse 16 says that they were on their way to prayer and continued to preach the word for several days before they cast the demon out that started all this.

True worship is not something we do only when we feel all warm inside because of all the good things He has done for us. Neither is it something that we do when we feel tempted and want deliverance. Nor is it done when we feel a little persecuted or under pressure because we want to push our flesh into acknowledging the great I AM. Worship is done at all these times, but TRUE WORSHIP comes out when you are hurting so badly that you can't move. You're so repulsed by the place you're at that you can't stand to breath. When it comes as easily as your next breath, you've entered into a new realm of being that others recognize you as a worshipper.

The Message translation says that they were singing ROBUSTly. The Amplified translation says they were singing hymns of PRAISE. When I sing robustly or simply sing hymns of praise, I don't do it quietly. If my heart is so full that I'm singing in this fashion, I'm at the top of my lungs. Forceful and loud. Confident and desirous that He hear me. I can imagine no less from this passage regarding Paul and Silas.

What a position to aspire to! To be so full of the Word of God...to be so immersed in His presence daily...to know beyond a shadow of doubt about Whose you are that you leave your own shell and step into that place where you and the Lord Jesus and the Father God all commune as one.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not speaking of some "mystical" or "transcendental" experience. I'm talking about a relationship so close that I know when I hurt, He hurts. One that I know that if this experience means my death, that only means I'll physically be in His presence. One where my thoughts are not centered around me, but on His greatness. We touch on that relationship at times. The key is to get to that place and stay there.

Then take a look at what happens when you enter that place. The power of God comes on the scene. Verse 26 says that the prison shook with a violent, great, and huge earthquake. One so powerful that the chains fell off all the prisoners! Wouldn't you think that if an earthquake came along (even a small one), that the walls would have fallen on the prisoners? And of course their legs and hands would still have been bound.

So this was no ordinary earthquake. It was the power and presence of the Almighty coming to rescue those that were putting Him first.

Matthew 6:32, 33 says: "but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. " (Msg translation)

Jeremiah 29:13 (my new favorite verse) says: "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you..."

Can you imagine a better time for this to take place? AS they sought the King, He found them. And He not only found them, He took care of the situation in a way that there was NO doubt that He was the One and True God. Isn't it amazing how He does that time and time again?

But while we may never be in a physical place such as a dungeon, firey furnace, lion's den, etc., we do have our own places of hard times. The thing to come away with from these accounts is that if God is so powerful to move on these extreme times, think of how easily He can move in times I need him. It's all on me to get to the place of worship and obedience that allows Him to act.

My Life Work ~ Worship

2 Chronicles 29:10
"I have decided to make a covenant with the God of Israel and turn history around so that God will no longer be angry with us. Children, don't drag your feet in this! God has chosen you to take your place before him to serve in conducting and leading worship—this is your life work; make sure you do it and do it well."

Prior to this time with Hezekiah, the Isrealites had established a lifestyle of regularly worshipping the Great I Am. But as with any of us, they allowed life to creep in and take ascendency over obedience to God and over their own desire to worship. Within time, dust had settled in, covering the beautiful floor of the temple. Cobwebs filled the corners of the sanctuary instead of the Glory Cloud. The doors had stopped being opened and that musty smell crept in (you know, the one you smell in the back of your grandma's closet when you played hide-and-seek as a child) overpowering the faint smell of incense that was used to send the prayers of the people to the heavens. What was once the love of the people for the one that delivered and provided had now become that distant relative long lost and forgotten by the works done to create a life.

But Hezekiah came in with a fresh breath and zeal for God. He was determined to find that relationship again. To restore the faithfulness and obedience of the children with the Father. I love that the Message translation indicates that they have a life's work of worship. Because worship is not just a matter of coming into the presence of God and singing a few hymns, saying a few prayers of thanksgiving and adoration, or lifting your hands in surrender to his awesomeness. These are all right and proper, but they are only a small part of the act of worship. They should be an expression of the things you do daily in adoration and realization of WHO He is. Worship is a part of every breath you take. Underlying in every thought and plan you make in your normal and daily life. It's only by making it as central to your life as I've indicated that you will create this lifestyle of worship...but it's what my heart longs for and pushes me to attain.

Worship ~ Reflected In My Wife

I once heard a minister say that the glory of the husband can be found in the face of his wife. In other words, if he is doing everything he should be doing as a man of God Almighty, then his wife's face will come to life when she looks at him, talks about him, or thinks about him, regardless of who is around her or even if she is alone at the time. You'll see the devotion he has for her in the sparkle of her eyes; the tenderness he shows her in her smile.

There's actually a television commercial that comes to mind that directly demonstrates this thought. A young man is walking down the street and his cell phone rings. His face is basically emotionless until he hears the voice of the person calling ~ and then he breaks out into an infectious smile. You could only imagine that the person he is speaking to has his heart.

I think of the words of that minister when I contemplate what kind of husband I've become. I know when I'm on target when I look into Tracye's eyes and see my love for her returned to me with the softness of her gaze. Likewise, I know that there are problems in Eden when I look at her and see that something I've done or said has brought hurt or if I really listen to what she says in passing conversation and comments. Like when she gets frustrated with herself and rushes because she doesn't want me to lose my patience...wow. Don't get me wrong, I know there are changes in my life as a result of my repentance and obedience in the last year. I know that some of those changes are in the form of patience. I also know that I must have caused some deep hurt for it to still affect Tracye the way it does and that it will take some time for that to heal.

Patience.

A fruit of the Spirit.

Evidence that I'm living and walking in the Spirit according to Galatians 5:25. The Amplified translates this passage by saying it demonstrates that we are controlled by the Spirit. The Message goes on to say "Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its (all the fruit of the Spirit) implications in every detail of our lives." By doing just that, working out its implications in every detail of my life, I become more and more a true reflection of the Christ within me. And as I become a mirror image of Christ, my worship for Him becomes more upfront and real.

A Deeper Experience of Worship

I'm going to start writing about what the Lord has been dealing with me about and pray that it comes across clearly...

Sunday morning, during Praise and Worship, I felt the Holy Spirit impress on me that the Father wanted me to enter into a deeper experience of worship with Him. I remember feeling that I wanted more, but didn't quite know how to proceed. He took me to 2 Kings 5:1-14, where Naaman went looking for healing from the Prophet Elisha. In this encounter, Elisha sent instructions for Naaman to go to the river Jordan and dip himself seven times. Naaman puffed up at that because the Jordan river was filthy. He told his servants that if Elisha told him to dip into the rivers of Damascus, at least he would be clean from the soil of the world when he came out (even if he didn't get healed...Jim's interpretation).

Naaman's servants reasoned with him that he would have willingly and probably gladly done that, but the plan isn't what we always think it should be. We have to trust in what God tells us to do without question.

So I'm left with the question of how does this work with entering into a deeper experience of worship?

Last night, at Intercessory Prayer, Brendan led us to a scripture that helped. Isaiah 58:6-8 says:

"This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts. What I'm interested in seeing you do is: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad, being available to your own families. Do this and the lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way. The God of glory will secure your passage."

What I hear the Lord instruct me through this passage is that He's more interested in me developing a LIFESTYLE of fasting than the occassional denying myself of something and then giving it back. Don't get me wrong, fasting in that fashion is biblical and necessary, but He wants an everyday, conscious effort, total heart committed, unwaivering determinated sacrificial lifestyle of being more like Him. Verse 6 talks about spreading the gospel that frees the captive and breaks the chains of bondage. Verse 7 talks about putting others first even at your own discomfort.

Again...what does this have to do with Naaman and what does Naaman have to do with a deeper experience of worship?

What I've come up with is this...there's an old saying that "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." In other words, there is no better way of telling someone how much you admire (or worship) them than by being like them. Worship is an expression of your love to the Lord for who He is. To be like him through sacrifice and obedience to His Word is the ultimate act of worship.

Naaman comes in to this in that I need to be sensitive to His direction so that I don't haphazardly ignore something that He tells me to do because I don't think it is worthy of my time or energy. I want to keep attentive to my spirit so that it "perks up" whenever it hears from the Lord and thereby keeps me in that deeper experience of worship.

SIMPLE OBEDIENCE

2 Kings 5:8-14 (The Message)

8 Elisha the man of God heard what had happened, that the king of Israel was so distressed that he'd ripped his robe to shreds. He sent word to the king, "Why are you so upset, ripping your robe like this? Send him to me so he'll learn that there's a prophet in Israel."
9 So Naaman with his horses and chariots arrived in style and stopped at Elisha's door.
10 Elisha sent out a servant to meet him with this message: "Go to the River Jordan and immerse yourself seven times. Your skin will be healed and you'll be as good as new."
11-12 Naaman lost his temper. He turned on his heel saying, "I thought he'd personally come out and meet me, call on the name of God, wave his hand over the diseased spot, and get rid of the disease. The Damascus rivers, Abana and Pharpar, are cleaner by far than any of the rivers in Israel. Why not bathe in them? I'd at least get clean." He stomped off, mad as a hornet.
13 But his servants caught up with him and said, "Father, if the prophet had asked you to do something hard and heroic, wouldn't you have done it? So why not this simple 'wash and be clean'?"
14 So he did it. He went down and immersed himself in the Jordan seven times, following the orders of the Holy Man. His skin was healed; it was like the skin of a little baby. He was as good as new.


Isn't is amazing at how simple obedience can appear when pointed out, but how hard it seems when we allow our flesh to be in control? When Naaman first heard of what he needed to do in order to become healed, his flesh was not only the physical problem, but the spiritual one as well. His pride rose up and wouldn't allow him to experience his healing. His ego stepped in and became offended because Elisha didn't come out personally to speak to him. His stomach recoiled because he was disgusted with the water that would bring his healing. His understanding was halted because nothing mystical" was done to cause the disease to go away. His pride was hurt because it didn't even require anything of him that would make others recognize the sacrifice he had to make. He simply had to dip his body in a dirty river.

His servant understood simplicity in obedience. He understood that if you are told to do something by a person in authority, you did it without question. He understood that sometimes those instructions are given second-hand and not directly from the mouth of the man to your ears.

Praise God for that servant! For the boldness he had to stop his master (angry even!) and speak truth to him. We need to be willing to do that more in each others lives. We need to be willing to stop our brothers in their tracks, point out their sin and help them see the truth that will bring deliverance.

The Lord doesn't require us to do anything on our own to bring deliverance because he knows that by our own hand we fall significantly short. But by our simple obedience of following His words, our total deliverance comes immediately.

I pray that I continue to remember that obedience from the heart is not a hard task. The ultimate decision to be obedient gives me the strenght and courage to follow through. And as I follow through, the way is open for the promises of God to take place in my life.

My Life of Worship...The Realm of the Spirit is Real

I'm entering a new level of my Spiritual Walk...It's time (at least for now) to focus on taking all I've learned from trust and obedience, and begin to worship Him daily...to create a life of Worship. That will be the focus of my studies for a while...

I'm discovering that the realm of the Spirit is real ~ and has been in existence longer than the natural realm that we now reside in.

John 1:1-3, 10 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made…He was in the world and though the world was made through Him, the world did not recognize Him.”

Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

We can see that God existed before the world was created. Because of that, we can see that God did not need to create the world, He chose to do it.

So we have to ask ourselves – why? Because God is love. You can’t express love unless you have something or someone to express it to. We were created for the sole purpose of having a loving relationship with the Creator of the universe.

Romans 9:25 (The Message) “I’ll call nobodies and make them somebodies; I’ll call the unloved and make them beloved. In the place where they yelled out ‘you’re nobody!’ they’re calling you ‘God’s living children.’ Isaiah maintained this same emphasis: If each grain of sand on the seashore were numbered and the sum labeled ‘chosen of God’, they’d be numbers still, not names. Salvation comes by personal selection. God doesn’t count us, He calls us by name. Arithmatic is not His focus.”

You see God loves us. He created the world – universe – galaxy – for US! Because He wanted to create a species of being – man – to pour His love on. A species of being to love and be loved by. By exchanging this act between creator and the created, a relationship is developed. That’s His purpose – to create a being for the purpose of relationship. The reason the relationship is so important is because it allows the expression of love to flow from the Father to us and from us to the Father. It completes both parties of the relationship.

By now you’re probably thinking, “…where is this going? What does that (the creation of man) have to do with worship? They are two different anomalies…”

Creation of man and the act of Worship may be explained independently, and they are both worthy of independent study. But to truly understand worship, you must understand relationship. You can’t have relationship without worship following nor can you have worship without a relationship first.

Pastor Rod Parsley said in Praise, the Ultimate Experience, Worship the Ultimate Relationship, “Worship is acknowledging God for who He is. Worship is all that we are, rightly responding to all that He is. To worship Him, you must know Him.”

Jesus was ministering to a Samaritan woman in John 4:23, 24 when He said “Yet a time is coming and has now come when true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is Spirit, and His worshipers must worship in Spirit and in truth.”

Notice the end of verse 23. It says that the Father SEEKS those who worship in Spirit and in truth. He created all that is so He can have relationship. We can’t sincerely worship something we do not intimately know. He seeks those who will walk in this relationship – in His presence – every day. That’s how we begin to know Him – to hear His voice – to touch Him and be touched by Him.

Elijah

What can I say about the last month. God truly blessed us with a beautiful grandson on December 4th. Elijah James Russell came into the world wonderfully made and perfect in every way...then Satan came in to steal him away. Elijah walked into the arms of Jesus just two weeks later. It was a hard fight. I came out of it with what felt like a few bruises, but let me tell you, I left my mark on him as well. I may not have been much of a threat in the past, but he knows my name now (Acts 19:15). I couldn't be more proud of Aaron, Katie, Glen and Mary (Katie's parents) and Tracye. There were prayers and intercessions going up in faith around the clock. Pastor Ron and Betsy, Brendan, Fran, Dawn and Jason were our rocks.

Through all this, my faith grew to levels I never thought I would need, let alone expect to have. God never failed me. His grace was and is sufficient for me. I praise God Almighty for the vacation in Colorado that caused me to get alone with Him; for Pastor Ron speaking directly into my life; and for the time I have had to prepare for this walk in the last months. If it had not been for these events in my life, I'm convinced I would not be walking with the Lord today. My mom's death was hard on my faith...this would have destroyed it. I'm pretty sure that Tracye and I would not have survived this blow...I would have walked away from everything and everyone...I had gotten to that level. But PRAISE GOD, my ROCK, my FORTRESS, my STRENGTH, my COMFORTER, my ENCOURAGER. I know that I know HE LIVES. My founding scripture that got me through the week was from Hebrews 10:26 through 11:3 (Message):

"If we give up and turn our backs on all we've learned, all we've been given, all the truth we now know, we repudiate Christ's sacrifice and are left on our own to face the Judgment—and a mighty fierce judgment it will be! If the penalty for breaking the law of Moses is physical death, what do you think will happen if you turn on God's Son, spit on the sacrifice that made you whole, and insult this most gracious Spirit? This is no light matter. God has warned us that He'll hold us to account and make us pay. He was quite explicit: "Vengeance is mine, and I won't overlook a thing" and "God will judge his people." Nobody's getting by with anything, believe me.

Remember those early days after you first saw the light? Those were the hard times! Kicked around in public, targets of every kind of abuse—some days it was you, other days your friends. If some friends went to prison, you stuck by them. If some enemies broke in and seized your goods, you let them go with a smile, knowing they couldn't touch your real treasure. Nothing they did bothered you, nothing set you back.

So don't throw it all away now. You were sure of yourselves then. It's still a sure thing! But you need to stick it out, staying with God's plan so you'll be there for the promised completion. It won't be long now, He's on the way; He'll show up most any minute. But anyone who is right with Me thrives on loyal trust; if he cuts and runs, I won't be very happy. But we're not quitters who lose out. Oh, no! We'll stay with it and survive, trusting all the way.

The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd. By faith, we see the world called into existence by God's word, what we see created by what we don't see."

My plan at this point is to be around for the promised completion ~ which is the experience of eternal life. I am not a quitter and I have learned what loyal trust is...what an established heart is. My firm foundation is my trust in God!

During the time Elijah was in PICU, we had Brother Kenneth Hagin's healing scriptures being piped into his little body (by way of an MP3 player thanks to Ann). I had a dream the night we finally got the chance to sleep. In the dream, Elijah and I were walking along in heaven, hand in hand, when we heard some voices behind us. Elijah looked up at me with a smile and said "Papi, I know that voice!" We turned around and there was Brother Hagin, teaching a class under a tree beside a stream. What a blessing to know that the two of them are together now.

There may be thousands of reasons why Elijah wasn't healed, but even though he wasn't, it doesn't mean that it was God's will or that He isn't the ultimate Physician. I was praying shortly after the funeral and finally allowed myself to ask God "why?". He told me "There will be a day when I will know the answer to that question, and on that day I won't care. Elijah will be in my arms, smiling and holding my face in his hands, and giving me all the love he has for me." What a day that will be...

Papi loves you, Elijah. I'll see you in my dreams and when I look into your daddy's face. I'll feel the warmth of your love in your mommy's smile and your Nanna's hugs will comfort me until I am able to hold you again at last.

STILL HERE...AND RUNNING THE RACE

It's been a strange, busy time the last month. I haven't been able to blog my devotions, and to be honest with you, it's a direct reflection of the fact that my time with the Father has been suffering. It's funny how we can become so caught up in the affairs of life that we don't even realize that we have skipped a meeting with Him. When I do realize that it has been a couple of days, I allow my flesh to reason the conviction away and promise to do better because I'm walking in grace and not legalism.

I am, I realize, operating under grace. But that is not an excuse to fall into disobedience. Grace is the nature of the Father in how He deals with me. To use that as a crutch to not walk in the light of what I know to be true is abuse. Yes, that may sound a bit harsh, but it is time we start calling sin, sin. To glaze over it is dishonor to our Lord.

A side effect of not walking in fellowship with the Father is how I recognize changes in relationships moving back to what they were before I got my head on straight. A little more edgy attitude, a little sharp in the responses, feeling more pressure from the outside, noticing that others are struggling a little more because I'm not praying for them or responding to them in a way that encourages and edifies. My role as a father and husband changes. I don't like that feeling. I want to be strong for my family. I want to be the encourager. I want to be the one that my boys and my wife can depend on.

All that said, I'm back in the swing of things. I'm learning to forgive myself and to keep pressing for the mark. Any long distance runner will tell you that it is an even stride that will get you to the finish.

That thought takes me back to the Olympics. I was watching the marthon runners. When the race started, there were those that took off and set a great distance between themselves and the pack. I remember sitting there thinking that this can't be much of an event if the leaders are so easily made so early. But as I watched, I found that those in the lead quickly tired and before long they were no longer in the lead...sometimes they were no longer even mentioned. As they settled into their run, I'm sure they all finished, but at that point, it was just about finishing, not winning. The runners that maintained a steady pace and knew when to press harder ended up in the lead. Don't get me wrong. I'm not necessarily interested in being the lead runner for everyone, but for my family I am. In someone's race I will be a runner that finishes. In my personal race, I want to be the pacesetter that pulls others to be better than they would be if they relaxed or gave up. I'm still here...and running the race.

Catching My Breath

Romans 8:26-28 (The Message)

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. "

IN PLAIN ENGLISH

Sometimes, in the really hard times of life, I simply don't know how or what to pray. Sometimes, if I'm honest with myself, I don't even know if it's worth the effort. Sometimes, if I'm REALLY honest with myself, my flesh seems too overpowering. It is in those times that I find comfort in knowing - and I mean totally wrapping myself in the knowledge - that the Holy Spirit is there with me to take over. He knows what to pray to get me back on my feet and running again. Amazingly, sometimes I need to get quiet and just allow Him to pray over me and reconnect my spirit with Him. He will keep me in that right place - that perfect connection with the Father - as I allow him the freedom to do so.

AS FOR ME

How much God must love me to make a support system to keep me going. In college, there was a class I took that dealt with providing a learning environment for my classroom. The term the professor used was scaffolding. I picture it this way in my head. From a construction standpoint, a scaffold is something that is used to support and lift so that the worker can continue to move up on the project. With each level, a new piece is added to the scaffold so that the worker feels safe and confident that he won't fall (or fail in the "learning" environment). The Holy Spirit works the same way. As I progress in my Christian walk, I'm building a scaffold under me that is created by my faith and victories. When I get tired, the scaffold continues to support me and keep me in place - through the intercessions of the Holy Spirit - until I catch my breath and continue on.

Giving Honestly and Happily

I Chronicles 29:14, 17

(14) "But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.
(17)I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things have I given willingly and with honest intent." (NIV)

(14) "But me—who am I, and who are these my people, that we should presume to be giving something to you? Everything comes from you; all we're doing is giving back what we've been given from your generous hand.
(17) I know, dear God, that you care nothing for the surface—you want us, our true selves—and so I have given from the heart, honestly and happily." (MSG)

IN PLAIN ENGLISH
Everything that comes to us, comes from the Father. God of the Universe. The Creator of ALL THINGS. Understanding that simple fact, gaining that tiny piece of revelation knowledge will change your entire outlook and perspective on giving.

People today have a hard time comprehending this concept. It's all about "me" and "my success" that is created by the things we possess. I've been there...and struggle to make sure my revelation of Who actually provides for my needs and wants stays in tact.

This scripture provides two very different scenarios in dealing with what and how we give to God. The first is very obvious: when we realize that what we have comes from the Father and all we are doing is giving back to Him in order to give recognition to that fact, our giving is from a heart that is right; a heart that is willing and obedient.

The second scenario is not as obvious, but is the opposite of the first: when we believe that all we have comes by our own hand, then our giving becomes pious and self-promoting; it becomes an opportunity to either stop giving or give with a heart that is done grudgingly and out of obligation; looking at God not as generous but demanding or greedy. What a shameful way of viewing God the Father; a Father that wants nothing more than to bless His children in every way.

AS FOR ME
This revelation has been life changing for me. I won't begin to try to convince you that it's an easy road. There are times when my flesh WANTS to be self-promoting and pious. But at those times, I pray for the Holy Spirit to rise up and remind me of Whose I am and what He's given me in every area of my life...from spiritual, to mental, to physical, to material. Every area of my life is becoming prosperous. Although I get to benefit from the prosperity, it truly is in order to propetuate the Gospel. I didn't include the end of verse 17, but it goes on to explain that David was asking for God to continue to speak to and bless Solomon in building the temple. The temple dedicated to worshiping God. Which, in context of this discussion, is a forshadowing of perpetuating the Gospel in itself.

What a wonderful way to live life!

God Is Moving

II Corinthians 8:12 (New International)

"For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have."

"Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what you can't. The heart regulates the hands." (The Message)

IN PLAIN ENGLISH

God looks at the intent of the heart and matches it up to the action you are taking...within your means. This takes the "legality" out of the responsibility to support the Church and places it directly into grace and obedience. Giving out of pressure or expectation places the heart in the wrong attitude of recognizing that everything belongs to God. (It has to belong to God or "being blessed" means nothing...it can't be a blessing from God if He doesn't have it to give.) If the Christian gives with a willing heart and is following out of obedience to the leading of the Spirit, the Holy Spirit will not lead him to give what he does not have. Likewise, it makes the responsibility of support the Church equal between all believers. A person that makes $100,000 can easily give 10% while someone that makes $10,000 is under a burden to make the same gift. One gives out of surplus while the other gives out of sacrifice.

Again, the key to giving is the attitude of the heart...it's willingness to give back to God what God has blessed me with. If I'm faithful to give with a willing heart, with a true commitment to meet God where I am and then follow that commitment with obedience, God will move tremendously in my behalf.

AS FOR ME
Man, am I struggling today. I'm so tired of digging out of this hole. I'm so tired of having to work to stay on the right path as my flesh resists with each step. I'm so tired of being that strong shoulder and keeping everyone around me lifted up and encouraged. I don't feel like I'm getting any encouragement at all from anyone but myself.

Thank you, Lord for your Holy Spirit. That as I feel tired and let down, that Your Spirit lifts me back up as I totally surrender to Him. Thank you that my obedience comes from my heart and not from my head or my flesh, but that they are both coming in line with the spirit.

As I keep the willing heart established and do what I can, GOD WILL MOVE.

How to overcome

Revelation 12:10-12 (King James Version)

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

IN PLAIN ENGLISH

This scripture has provided me with some encouragement to victory in the past. I say that without a great deal of enthusiasm because it always seemed to be a "victory chant" more than anything else. I knew the blood of the Lamb gave and still gives me victory, causing me to overcome, but it seemed a bit dry and flat. It just lays on the tongue like something that is lacking the flavor you expected it to have.

Then the light came on it (or me)! There is a three-fold process here that causes me to overcome. The blood of the Lamb is the first part. God made way for me to live and walk in victory by the redemptive act of Jesus on the Cross. His beating, flogging, ridicule, harassment, abuse, and ultimately his death was for me. All of God's wrath was placed on Jesus as he assumed the role of a sinner. Everything the Father unleased on Jesus was meant for and should have been my judgement for my sins. Every time I feel beat down, whipped and hurt; every time I'm feeling persecuted and ridiculed and harassed; every time I feel like someone is taking advantage of me or abusing me or our relationship, I can rest assured that I have been placed in a position over it all...a position of an overcomer.

The second and third parts are my responsibility...to speak my testimony and to live for Christ until I die.

AS FOR ME

In order to actually FEEL like an overcomer; to make it real in my life that Satan is defeated, I have to do my part...the second and third parts of the three-fold process "and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death".

The second part of the process is verbalizing the victory. I think back to my walk time with the Lord where He told me to pray out loud because I needed to hear myself qoute the word. That's how my edification and motivation is built up in me, by speaking to myself in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs (Ephesians 5:19). It's not enough to put me over to hear someone else say it or to just pray silently in my head...my ears and voice need to join forces.

Then there is the other side to the word of my testimony...sharing what God has done and is doing in my life. A testimony is defined as "evidence in support of a fact or statement; proof; an open declaration or profession"

The third and final part of the process reminds me of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3. They loved with total abandon, not considering their lives. Simple obedience that pays off. Wow.

I'm Hungry

Psalm 119:31-40 (The Message)

Barricade the road that goes Nowhere; grace me with your clear revelation. I choose the true road to Somewhere, I post your road signs at every curve and corner. I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me; God, don't let me down! I'll run the course you lay out for me if you'll just show me how. God, teach me lessons for living so I can stay the course. Give me insight so I can do what you tell me—my whole life one long, obedient response. Guide me down the road of your commandments; I love traveling this freeway! Give me a bent for your words of wisdom, and not for piling up loot. Divert my eyes from toys and trinkets, invigorate me on the pilgrim way. Affirm your promises to me— promises made to all who fear you. Deflect the harsh words of my critics— but what you say is always so good. See how hungry I am for your counsel; preserve my life through your righteous ways!

IN PLAIN ENGLISH

After realizing how far I've come, how much progress I've made, and how wonderfully free I am, I want nothing more than to make sure I don't slip back into the ditch. God doesn't want me there either! Everything David asks for here is within God's will for not only his life, but for mine (and yours) as well. Earlier I found that obedience is just as much a decision in life as loving Tracye is. There may be times when I may not FEEL like loving her, but I CHOOSE to do it every minute of every day...because she deserves it...and so do I! Obedience and walking down the path that keeps me under His protection are choices that are easier to make with each day I live.

However, it's important not to forget that there are still things out there that want to trip me up. Only through consistent study of the Word and fellowshipping with Him can I ensure that not only my heart is established, but my mind begins to be renewed as well.



AS FOR ME

Ah, the secret...making the heart (spirit) and mind unified. There lies the hunger. As I walk daily in the wisdom He has given me; as I continue to walk in obedience; as I consistently follow His commandments, my spirit becomes HUNGRY for Him. My doctor told me once when we were discussing my weight loss that hunger is a GOOD thing. When your body tells you it's hungry, it's telling you that you have expended the energy it has stored and it is time to replace it. Right now, spiritually I'm ravenous! My spirit is telling me that I am needing more nourishment than just milk. I'm moving on to the meat of the Word, PRAISE GOD!

I really like this version of Psalm 119 where it talks about "divert my eyes from toys and trinkets" because the majority of my money issues falls with impulse spending. The last six weeks have been excruciatingly painful at times because my habitual flesh feels deprived that I can't (and won't) go out and indulge itself. But at the same time, there's a liberating feeling that goes along with controlling my flesh. All the time I've spent dodging creditors and "creating" money to pay bills with or do something I wanted to do, I did thinking I was in control. Now I realize that I wasn't in control. The money and the flesh were in control. For the first time, I know what true control means.

And it's not without rewards. Freedom from those bondages allows me to be free to worship and obey in ways that I've never experienced before. And I'm so hungry for more!!

Turn History Around

2 Chronicles 29: 10-11, 36 (The Message)

"I have decided to make a covenant with the God of Israel and turn history around so that God will no longer be angry with us. Children, don't drag your feet in this! God has chosen you to take your place before him to serve in conducting and leading worship—this is your life work; make sure you do it and do it well."

"Hezekiah and the congregation celebrated: God had established a firm foundation for the lives of the people—and so quickly!"

IN PLAIN ENGLISH

God responds to repentence. I love the fact that Hezekiah used the phrase "turn history around". God responds in such a way under the new testament that history is re-written...eradicating the old as if it never happened. I don't have to move forward and drag the old ways with me. My covenant truly turns history around; it changes history so that I have victory to build upon, not past mistakes. Every step I take in obedience today places me on that path outside of the ditch. I gain sure footing on solid ground. Then the next step is more solid. They build one upon the other. And I'm not doing it alone. God walks with me, encouraging me and loving me for my obedience. By following his voice, he tells me where to place each step, so that it is on a firm foundation and estabilishes my heart all the more.

AS FOR ME

Do I need this! My history has been one that has been filled with failure, strife, disappointment, disillusionment, pain, hopelessness, and I could go on-and-on. But to know that this is not my history any more is fantastic! Think about how the future is always dictated by the past. Your character and personality is made up of the experiences of the past. So in order for my future to be a reflection of who I am in Christ, my past has to show who I am in Christ. With Hezekiah, a new line had to be drawn in the sand. A point from which a new beginning had to take place. A point where no looking back was allowed.

With my covenant in Christ, when I look back, I see the same reflection backwards as I do forwards. I can't allow myself to see the failures and disappointments, but to see what and who I am now. For the first time, I can understand what it means to be free from the bondages of slavery to sin. I am totally free to walk in obedience. I can truly experience verse 36 and celebrate because the Lord has established a firm foundation for my life - and so quickly!

Ebb and Flow

2 Chronicles 29:10

Now I intend to make a covenant with the LORD, the God of Israel, so that his fierce anger will turn away from us."

2 Chronicles 31:20, 21

"This is what Hezekiah did throughout Judah, doing what was good and right and faithful before the LORD his God. In everything that he undertook in the service of God's temple and in obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly. And so he prospered."

IN PLAIN ENGLISH

In reading these passages (and the chapters as a whole), you will see that Hezekiah purposed to turn the Isrealites around. For years, the nation of Isreal had done things in disobedience to the Lord and had turned their backs to the Lord. God had become angry with them. That lead to the desolation of the nation instead of the blessings God wanted to bestow. I love 29:10 where Hezekiah says that he will make a covenant with the Lord so that His fierce anger will turn from them. This is the verbal action of the heart of repentance. All the work that took place after that was the physical evidence of that repentance. As Hezekiah walked out the repentance of the nation, God's blessings began to flow again, restoring Isreal back to right standing. In 30:9b, Hezekiah tells the people that "He (God) will not turn His face from you if you return to Him." What a beautiful promise of redemption and restoration! And in 31:20, 21 you can see that the end result of repentance is restoration of God's blessings.

AS FOR ME

What joy this promise gives me! And how I can testify that it is true. The last week has been a bit of a struggle to keep up with the devotions as I started. It is so easy to allow the things of life to just edge back in. It's like trying to build up a wall on the beach to keep the tide at bay. You can eventually do it, but it takes perseverence and determination. When that water starts coming around the ends of the wall, just don't give up. Eventually the tide will ebb away and allow you to build more wall up so that the next time it flows in, you have a little more resistance.

The last couple of nights drove that home for me. On Tuesday night, I was telling my accountabilty buddy that I could see how my repentance had changed others in my life...Tracye and I have become united in working toward consecrating our relationship to the Lord as never before, my boys were becoming more solid in their walks, and my dad (who I'm praying will come back to the Lord soon) was filled with more joy and life than I have seen him in a long time. I know it may be presumptuous to assume I had anything to do with these other lives, but it bears witness in my spirit that the Lord is working in me and all my relationships.

Then last night Tracye and I had an issue come up that, on the surface, it appeared as if nothing we had worked for had made any difference. I tried to hold on to the spirit man on the inside of me but ended up just losing control and "fleshing out". Tracye went to bed upset with me...

This morning, we came back together and started the day with new beginnings and prayer. Then "BAM" this devotion hit me. It took Hezekiah a while to get the temple rebuilt; guess I can invest the same wholehearted attempt too. I know the resutls are going to be the same...God promised!

I Want This Life

Psalm 112:1-8

"Hallelujah! Blessed man, blessed woman, who fear God, Who cherish and relish his commandments, Their children robust on the earth, And the homes of the upright—how blessed! Their houses brim with wealth And a generosity that never runs dry. Sunrise breaks through the darkness for good people— God's grace and mercy and justice! The good person is generous and lends lavishly; No shuffling or stumbling around for this one, But a sterling and solid and lasting reputation. Unfazed by rumor and gossip, Heart ready, trusting in God, Spirit firm, unperturbed, Ever blessed, relaxed among enemies, They lavish gifts on the poor— A generosity that goes on, and on, and on. An honored life! A beautiful life! "

IN PLAIN ENGLISH
Look at the blessings that come upon the man that trusts in God. The man that lives by God's word. God desires and seeks such a man so much that he pours out all He has on him. It not only extends to material blessings and prosperity, but to personal protection for his well being and integrity/reputation. He brings peace to this man's mind. There is no strife in any area of his life.

AS FOR ME
I WANT THIS LIFE!!! After working so hard on my own, it is almost unimaginable, to-good-to-be-true if you will, to think that God simply wants me to rest in Him...to allow Him to bless me. And all I have to do for that type of life is to establish His word in my life. To walk according to His will. Seek His guidance and then follow His direction. This only comes by continual study and fellowship with Him. I've slacked up a bit the last couple of days and I can tell you that I noticed it. I noticed my lacking attitude in prayer and study time. I felt the old man attempting to creep back in. I got so over loaded with the world and it's pressures again, that I just put off that important and life-sustaining commitment. I'm back on track though...I WANT THIS LIFE!!

Committed

Psalm 37:5,6

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."

IN PLAIN ENGLISH
Commitment and trust go hand-in-hand. The word "commit" here means to make a decision that is from the heart and one in which there is an establishment of trust - trust that God can and will care for me more than and better than I can do for myself.

The second half is a promise that He will protect and provide for me - on time and faithfully. The dawn comes everyday, regardless of the circumstances or feelings I'm facing. The noonday sun shines down and creates growth and burns away the fog that works to conceal and confuse.

AS FOR ME
Commitment is two sided. The Father is not going to require me to act in faith without rewarding me. He understands my struggles and weaknesses. Funny, my love language is appreciation. God demonstrates that with every step I take (no matter how large or small). I just have to recognize it!!